Mediating Complex Disputes
The Dynamic Mediation™ Model
Hope Language
Focusing on finding solutions and success stories has a transformational effect on the language the mediator is utilizing. Questions will have positive connotations, and conversations incorporate constructive suppositions, hence the term Hope Language.
O’Hanlon and Weiner-Davis provide a recommendation for such a language: “Instead of, ‘Did you ever do anything that worked?’ ask, ‘What have you done in the past that worked?’ … The latter [question] suggests that inevitably there have been successful past solutions” (O’Hanlon & Weiner-Davis, 2003, p. 80).
The mediator truly believes that parties will be able to achieve success on their own; therefore, the hope language is genuine and honest.
Drive the Change
While the parties are learning and moving, it is critical to frequently highlight the preferred future they are aiming at and the changes they are envisioning.
By asking targeted questions, the mediator invites the parties to visualize, imagine, and define the changes that will happen if they change, and by doing so, disputants reaffirm what they want, reinforcing their will to move forward and forging the change as their own.
Example:
- Now that we know how you were successful in building your business, assume you are using these resources and capabilities in all aspects of your life. What differences will your friend notice?
- Knowing about all these strengths, skills, and abilities that you possess that have helped you in your job supporting your family, imagine that you are using these capabilities not just at work but with your family and children as well; what changes will your children notice?
Ask questions and listen carefully. Trust people to come up with answers. Do not be satisfied with the first answer; it’s always worth probing further. Simply ask: “what else?” Push their imaginations ever so gently.
References
- O'Hanlon, B., & Weiner-Davis, M. (2003). In Search of Solutions: a New Direction in Psychotherapy. New York: W.W. Norton.